Pablo Hernandez
I am a thirteen year old non-speaking autistic boy. I learned to understand the way people feel since I was maybe two, but I needed words to communicate and I learned to use a letterboard much later. Now I try to help people understand my feelings too. I am a proud word handler.
Having Words that Learn to Fit
(April 14, 2020)
My hardest goal feels too hard to have. Having my hard times makes me want
to purposely fail. My experience is that learning something you may make
mistakes.
Maybe what I want to say is right there. It is making my happy thoughts
known – that is much work. How do thoughts, much too complicated to feel,
fit in words? How can my words hold the thoughts that make the work to
force themselves into language?
Have a Happy Mind
So many things,
Weak things,
Make me happy.
Feeling love in my heart,
Feeling hope in my heart,
Being funny,
Being understood,
Having mom,
Having family,
Knowing math,
Knowing hard words,
Learning to understand Spanish,
Learning everything I can think through.
Little things,
Fun things,
Make me happy.
Nighttime Meeting
(April 27, 2020)
Understand that my meeting with forgotten problems happens almost every
silent night that I can’t sleep. Having something caught in my head is the
worst meeting. It seems fast – having my mind taken over by haughty
laughing people. Back in my head the worst, hard thoughts are there. Back in
the recesses of my mind are the things that wear me down in the hovering
sounds in my room.
The truth is that it’s hard to talk to the world about these things, but too
many have maybe suffered like this, having these nights.